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Day 1: Distraction--Progression of a Painting

This was not the first night of work but it was the first night that I began to document what I was doing. Earlier, I walked all over the canvas (I tend to work on the floor) and then traced my footprints and handprints with charcoal. I lied down on the canvas and traced my body, diagonally. Then, I divided up the canvas into squares and filled some of them in with different colors of paint -- kind of like the Partridge family bus or a Mondrian painting. Both of which I really donŠt like. What I did like was that I got very loopy from all the turpentine in my basement studio. Probably not a good long-term health improvement, but it was fun for the short-term. Of course, it didnŠt hit me until a few hours later over my second glass of wine in a friendŠs living room why I had been so happy before.

I had been having a very rough 24 hours. A good friend of mine told me she was leaving the city.

Surrounded by my paintings and having just done Open Studios and constantly getting great support from friends and family, I realized that it was all meaningless in the end. What if I did ever actually get famous or make a lot of money but didn't have anyone to share it with? You can love a piece of art but you canŠt wake up next to it in the morning. Well, you can, but not my kind of art.

Go back, go forward, or start over.